Admiral Nelson famously stated as he went into the battle of Trafalgar, “England expects that every man will do his duty”. It’s fair to say we have not been let down. With the exception of the third test in Perth, Andy Flower’s England side have outperformed and outclassed an abysmal Australian side that appeared to be more interested in a barbie on the beach than trying to regain the Ashes.
After the momentum swing of Perth I felt anxious and slightly tipsy as play began in the early hours of Boxing Day. Full of turkey and chocolate I sat down to watch an English master class unfold. It’s fair to say that it was a good toss for England skipper Strauss to win. With cloud cover and a green tinge to the pitch, the MCG felt more like a cold morning at Headingley. The only question was whether or not England’s swingers would be able to exploit the early conditions.
After very early chances were squandered an ominous feeling loomed. Fortunately the tourists remained unfazed as they set to business in ruthless fashion. Anderson and Tremlett were a force to be reckoned with as they began to rip through the Aussie top order with the help of Ashes debutant Tim Bresnan. The highlight was dismissing the Australian lynchpin Michael “Mr Cricket” Hussey just moments before the lunch break. The Home side ended up getting skittled out for 98. Strauss and Cook continued to inflict more Boxing Day agony as they batted out the rest of the first day giving England a substantial advantage in a pivotal test.
The old enemy had a better start to the second day but things went from bad to worse for Ponting and his men. Firstly, the Aussie skipper decided he didn’t deserve his total match fee after his recent performances and lost his cool like a petulant child. Punter believed that his intuition was more insightful than modern technology as he argued the television replay decision in characteristic style. Although Ponting may have been trying to show leadership qualities by fighting the Australian corner, all he managed to do was set a disgraceful example to youngsters and further threaten his position as skipper. You’re a cricketer, not a footballer Ricky!
Jonathan Trott only increased the home sides frustration as he went on to reach his third century of the series with ample support from keeper Matt Prior (85). England were finally bowled all out for 513 at lunch on day three with the immoveable figure of Trott ending with a score of 168 not out. Although the England number three may not have the flamboyance of Pietersen or the technique of Bell, he has shown he adds a whole new dimension to the side, providing similar attributes to Dravid of India and Kallis of South Africa.
England now had the job of finishing off the opposition. They began to do this with relative ease as the Australians ended the day six wickets down with only 169 runs on the scoreboard. The only resistance came in the form of opener Shane Watson (54) who admitted defeat to reporters at the end of the day. This left the travellers with just four wickets to take on day four before celebrations could commence. Johnson departed early, playing on to a delivery from big man Chris Tremlett. Haddin and Siddle did have some fun scoring a frantic 86 for the eighth wicket but after Victorian Siddle hauled out to Pietersen in the deep, the home side shown no resilience.
England saved the Bres for last as the Yorkshire man took the wicket that enabled that little urn to be booked on a one-way flight to Heathrow. English ecstasy embraced the MCG and the English players celebrated with the jubilant barmy army who were in fine voice. The only fitting way to celebrate appeared to be by watering the pitch, as the tourists began their effervescent sprinkler routine that is sweeping the nation.
So the urn is coming home and I’m a happy man. Although the battle is over the war has yet to be won. With England one up with one to play, a win in Sydney is needed to win the series outright. Let’s make sure we finish in style boys! This was my Christmas present; now let’s make it a very happy new year!
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