Ashes Annihilation Complete

April 29^th 1770 was the day Captain James Cook first set foot on Australian soil. Three centuries later it is a different Mr. Cook who took command and conquered the same foreign land with three centuries of his own.

The day before the first test I was asked for my Ashes prediction. Ever the optimist, I told friends and the world of Twitter that I believed we would regain the Ashes and win 3-1 after a draw in Brisbane. I only wish I had the same conversation with a bookmaker and had asked him to safeguard my money for a few months. That may have been a worthy investment...

Last night I once again turned to my now finely tuned Australian body clock and watched as England’s heroic warriors completed the very feat I had predicted way back in November. The final test had already provided another Australian wobble in the first innings, followed by another glorious ton from man of the match Alistair Cook (189), backed up by maiden Ashes centuries from the effervescent Ian Bell (115) and powerful Matthew Prior (118).

The final day of Ashes cricket began with Australia 213-7, having had their top order knocked over by the visiting seamers  without any of the batsmen reaching a half century on day four. Victorian Peter Siddle (43) and youngster Steve Smith (54*) shown rare Aussie resistance on a showery Sydney morning, putting on eighty-six for the eighth wicket before England made the breakthrough.  Siddle departed after a swipe to leg off Graeme Swann just moments before the visit tourists decision to take the new ball. He was quickly followed back to the old style pavilion by Ben Hilfenhaus who was caught behind and debutant Michael Beer who played the ball onto his stumps, giving big man Chris Tremlett the match winning wicket.

From here English jubilation and celebration once again unfolded. It was 2005 Ashes winning captain Michael Vaughan who presented the little urn to Andrew Strauss breaking the tradition of the losing captain handing over the small replica. Surely not sore feelings from Ponting and Clarke we hope. Cook took the Compton-Miler award being announced the man of the series with 766 series runs piping king of the swingers James Anderson who was the leading wicket taker.

From here the English players continued celebrations with the vibrant barmy army who had comprehensively supported them over the past three months. Once again the travelling support made the Sydney Cricket Ground seem more like Edgbaston. By far the pick of the songs from the series was “the Mitchell Johnson song”. Well worth a view on YouTube! Pardon the expletives.

There was also heartfelt support for the out of form Paul Collingwood who announced his retirement from the test game after another unfruitful innings at the SCG. Colly was not only a determined batsmen but a handy part-time bowler and inspiring fielder with team presence. The Durham man will undoubtedly be missed but this does open the door for up and coming cricketers such as Irish-born Eoin Morgan and Somerset man James Hildreth.

I believe part of England’s dominance in this series is down to team spirit. It is easy to enjoy personal triumphs but the sign of a great team is a team in which players seem to enjoy the achievements of others just as much. England have shown bowling in depth and fielding far superior to that of years gone by over the past eight weeks. A real pleasure to lose sleep over.

So as I bid farewell to my Ashes reporting for a little while, my only wish is that I was in Melbourne and Sydney to watch the action unravel and celebrate with the players as well as the army. An enjoyable winter of Ashes cricket is now over and we can reminisce over this Ashes annihilation for many years to come. Ashes cricket, over and out.

Thanks for reading!

England Trott to Ashes Success

Admiral Nelson famously stated as he went into the battle of Trafalgar, “England expects that every man will do his duty”. It’s fair to say we have not been let down. With the exception of the third test in Perth, Andy Flower’s England side have outperformed and outclassed an abysmal Australian side that appeared to be more interested in a barbie on the beach than trying to regain the Ashes.

After the momentum swing of Perth I felt anxious and slightly tipsy as play began in the early hours of Boxing Day. Full of turkey and chocolate I sat down to watch an English master class unfold. It’s fair to say that it was a good toss for England skipper Strauss to win. With cloud cover and a green tinge to the pitch, the MCG felt more like a cold morning at Headingley. The only question was whether or not England’s swingers would be able to exploit the early conditions.

After very early chances were squandered an ominous feeling loomed. Fortunately the tourists remained unfazed as they set to business in ruthless fashion. Anderson and Tremlett were a force to be reckoned with as they began to rip through the Aussie top order with the help of Ashes debutant Tim Bresnan. The highlight was dismissing the Australian lynchpin Michael “Mr Cricket” Hussey just moments before the lunch break. The Home side ended up getting skittled out for 98. Strauss and Cook continued to inflict more Boxing Day agony as they batted out the rest of the first day giving England a substantial advantage in a pivotal test.

The old enemy had a better start to the second day but things went from bad to worse for Ponting and his men. Firstly, the Aussie skipper decided he didn’t deserve his total match fee after his recent performances and lost his cool like a petulant child. Punter believed that his intuition was more insightful than modern technology as he argued the television replay decision in characteristic style. Although Ponting may have been trying to show leadership qualities by fighting the Australian corner, all he managed to do was set a disgraceful example to youngsters and further threaten his position as skipper. You’re a cricketer, not a footballer Ricky!

Jonathan Trott only increased the home sides frustration as he went on to reach his third century of the series with ample support from keeper Matt Prior (85). England were finally bowled all out for 513 at lunch on day three with the immoveable figure of Trott ending with a score of 168 not out. Although the England number three may not have the flamboyance of Pietersen or the technique of Bell, he has shown he adds a whole new dimension to the side, providing similar attributes to Dravid of India and Kallis of South Africa.   

England now had the job of finishing off the opposition. They began to do this with relative ease as the Australians ended the day six wickets down with only 169 runs on the scoreboard. The only resistance came in the form of opener Shane Watson (54) who admitted defeat to reporters at the end of the day. This left the travellers with just four wickets to take on day four before celebrations could commence. Johnson departed early, playing on to a delivery from big man Chris Tremlett. Haddin and Siddle did have some fun scoring a frantic 86 for the eighth wicket but after Victorian Siddle hauled out to Pietersen in the deep, the home side shown no resilience.

England saved the Bres for last as the Yorkshire man took the wicket that enabled that little urn to be booked on a one-way flight to Heathrow. English ecstasy embraced the MCG and the English players celebrated with the jubilant barmy army who were in fine voice. The only fitting way to celebrate appeared to be by watering the pitch, as the tourists began their effervescent sprinkler routine that is sweeping the nation.

So the urn is coming home and I’m a happy man. Although the battle is over the war has yet to be won. With England one up with one to play, a win in Sydney is needed to win the series outright. Let’s make sure we finish in style boys! This was my Christmas present; now let’s make it a very happy new year!

Thanks for reading!

Festive Flashbacks after an English Stuffing

Last week could be described as the England Cricket team’s nightmare before Christmas in Perth. Strauss’ side were sublimely outplayed and outwitted as the ghost of Christmas past, Mitchell Johnson appeared to have a greater transformation than Ebenezer Scrooge himself. The only highlight of a poor performance was a good bowling display from the “not-so-tiny” son of Tim Tremlett, Chris.

With the series levelled at one all going into the fourth test in Melbourne the Ashes are left up for grabs. Doubts remain over the form of many players from Colly to Clarke and the fitness of Aussie skipper Ponting. This leaves selectors of both sides with more to contemplate than the Met Office weather warning team. But for now let’s leave the cricket on the back-burner and reminisce over the past twelve months of British sport.

Many flickering lights have been transformed into shinning stars over the past 365 days. The likes of Amy Williams have slid their way into the history books. Young ambassadors such as Tom Daley and Jessica Ennis have endeavoured to push their predecessors aside. Others such as Phil “The Power” Taylor and David “The Hayemaker” Haye have bullied their way to greatness. But what is my sporting highlight of the year....

As a Cricket fanatic, the Twenty20 world cup win has to be up there. The Colly-Flower relationship appeared to work wonders as England came back from The Caribbean with their first ICC trophy. Other moments will be remembered for a long time as well.  A pure neutral delight as Wimbledon provided a 183 game match-up, lasting a mere 11 hours and 5 minutes. A memorable match-play performance from Celtic Manor, as Monty’s majestic Europeans announced their stronghold over the Ryder Cup thanks to a leading role from world number one Westwood, and a fantastic fourth day from Irish hero McDowell.

As every Christmas panto across the UK will show, every story needs a villain, an ugly sister and a loveable rogue. The past year of sport has provided many of these characters in less fictional terms. The likes of Ian Holloway have provided more laughs than the pantomime dame, Chelsea skipper Terry and golf-legend Woods have played the cheating villains and our hearts have been melted by the beauty of the likes Ennis and Robson. If only Capello’s men weren’t playing the Jesters in South Africa this summer!

Looking back on 2010, it is fair to say that all can exclaim highlights and lowlights. Let’s just hope that 2011 will provide a similar array of emotions and hopefully an Ashes victory in the bad-lands. I’d just like to take this moment to wish everybody a very merry Christmas and a happy new year. May 2011 bring you all you deserve and dream. Just remember, “Champions aren’t made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them – a desire, a dream, a vision.” (Muhammad Ali).

Thanks for reading!

England’s “Swann” Song in Adelaide

After four fantastic days at the Adelaide Oval, England were in a match winning position going into the final three sessions of the second test. Australia went into the last day on the brink, trailing by 137 runs with only six wickets remaining in their final innings. Surely Ponting’s men required a miracle to survive the day? For weeks now the topic of conversation up and down the country has been the weather.  For once, I think all England fans would have settled for snow if it meant a sunny day in South Australia.

England had mixed feelings as they woke up for the fifth day. On one hand, we were in touching distance of an infamous win on a bright sunny Adelaide morning, the lesson to be learnt here is to never trust weathermen. Unfortunately though, England would be taking the field a bowler down after the severity of pace man Stuart Broad’s injury was revealed. The devastated Nottinghamshire bowler had suffered a grade three tear in a stomach muscle and would not only be unavailable to Strauss for the rest of the test match, but for the remainder of the series. A big blow indeed for Flower’s side.

Despite this, England took the field with confidence and vigour. All eyes were on world class off-spinner Graeme Swann as he looked to take advantage of some substantial rough kindly provided by Doug Bollinger. With the ball turning and bouncing, Australia were going to have their work cut out. Despite this it was quickie Steven Finn who made the break through, dismissing the main threat Mike Hussey and justifying skipper Strauss’ decision to take the new ball.

From here on jubilation ensued. Anderson took the wickets of Haddin and Harris in consecutive deliveries, leaving the Aussie quick Harris with a king pair to his name. It’s a good job you bowled well Ryan. It was Swann though who was going to take the accolades from the day, dismissing North, Doherty and finally Siddle to finish with figures of 5-91 from 41.1 overs including 12 maidens.

England managed to not only secure a one nil lead in the series but do so with unequivocal ease. Losing by an innings and 71 runs, this is the first time the old enemy have suffered an innings defeat at home since 1993. The Australians were completely outplayed from start to finish and have possible changes to consider looking ahead to Perth later in the month. England’s celebrations encapsulated team spirit and a realisation that they are capable of greatness within the realms of international cricket.  

As I shot out of my arm chair screaming like a child on Christmas morning when we took the final wicket at 1am yesterday night (sorry housemates!), I sensed a feeling of overwhelming pride. Never before have I witnessed such a one sided performance in such a pivotal game. Despite tired eyes I still managed to stroll up to my nine o’clock lecture this morning smiling like a Cheshire cat. Better luck next time Ricky! Let’s head to Perth!!

Thanks for reading!

England Cooking up a Treat

What a scintillating couple of days it has been for every England fan up and down the country. Having built up some early momentum in the series, Strauss and his men had to capitalise early in Adelaide to keep the highly criticised Aussies on the back foot. After losing the toss and being asked to bowl I’m sure skipper Strauss was telling the boys to make the new ball count. I bet not even he could have dreamt of what happened next though...

On a surface any batsmen would love to pick up and take everywhere with them, the Australians got off to a nightmare start. After four fairly innocuous deliveries confusion struck between the Aussie openers. The result, a ball-watching Simon Katich found himself walking back to the pavilion without facing a ball thanks to a superb piece of fielding from Jonathan Trott. Nobody likes to see that.

Things only went from bad to worse for the hosts as opening bowler Jimmy Anderson served up the perfect ball to finish off the first over. Ponting could only manage to get the edge of his bat on a swinging, full delivery and found himself following Katich straight back to the dressing room due to a good catch from Graeme Swann at second slip. Australia 0-2, England in ecstasy.

When an out of form Michael Clarke decided to give Swann in the slips more catching practice just two overs later, leaving the home side 2-3, Australia looked a side on the brink. In the space of three overs England fans witnessed arguably the most exciting action since the Ashes series of 2005. I for one was in dreamland.

Although a small amount of Australian consolidation began to embark after a frantic start, England managed to maintain control throughout the day. Australia were eventually bowled all out for 245 with Mr. Cricket Mike Hussey top scoring, falling just short of his second century of the series. This left Strauss and Cook just one over to contend with to finish off proceedings which they did with measureable ease.

With Australia needing a special performance on day two to try and squeeze themselves back into the game, they got the start they needed. In a momentary lapse of concentration, Andrew Strauss decided to shoulder arms to a gun-barrel straight delivery from Doug Bollinger. Could this start an English collapse comparable to the memorable test of 2006? Despite the new ball nibbling around for the rest of the first hour, Cooky and Trott seemed to start where they left off in Brisbane and déjà vu ensued. The pair put on 173 runs together at the crease before Trott, looking to flick the ball into the leg side only managed to find Michael Clarke at mid-wicket, being dismissed for 78.

Kevin Pietersen then strolled out to the middle having had to wait the best part of a week for a bat. I’m sure it must have been hot on the English balcony wearing all that protection! KP wasted no time carrying on with the Australian demolition, ending the day with 85 runs to his name and his wicket still intact. The other man ending the day with a not out against his score was the compact figure of Alistair Cook. The twenty-five year old managed to bat throughout the day for a chanceless 136, giving the tourists a lead of 72 overnight.

I’m sure Ali Cook must be the bane of the Australian camp right now. The Essex man has made 371 runs, batting for a monumental 1,022 minutes since last being dismissed. The English opener now averages a mere 438 for the series. I personally believe it’s about time he started pulling his weight. Hopefully he will once again continue to inflict even more pain on the old enemy come midnight tonight. Until then, all I have to look forward to is Saturday night television. I know one thing; Alistair Cook unarguably has the X Factor!

Thanks for reading!

A Pre-Test Match Stocking Filler

Today has undoubtedly been a disappointing day for English sports fans with Sepp Blatter and his merry men deciding that Russia should host the 2018 World Cup. I don’t know what they can offer that we cannot, I mean, who wants to play in a cold climate with freezing temperatures and snowfall? We never get that over here...

With this in mind I believe that the people of our nation need a little winter pick-me-up. My suggestion is to let your other half dust off her copy of Love Actually from last Christmas, get her tucked up in bed with a cup of cocoa and turn on Sky Sports in the hope that Strauss and his clan can leave us in a winter wonderland.

After Australia’s egregious performance in the field at the Gabba, is there any news going into tonight’s second test? The past couple of days have provided the first inevitable twitter tantrum, criticism of Aussie support, and the first big drop of the series. Well, the first big drop if you exclude the dolly put down by Michael Clarke the other day.

The biggest news is that Australia’s most highly acclaimed bowler going into the first test has been sidelined until further notice. Express quickie Mitchell Johnson, who has been in shocking form of late, is expected to be replaced by either Doug Bollinger or Ryan Harris. Johnson stayed positive in press interviews claiming that he believes he can still play a big part in the series. The one aspect of the game he was less positive about however was the lack of support the home side received in Brisbane (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/cricket/9249891.stm), surely it should be us at home getting cold feet?

Although England are expected to field an unchanged side tonight, they have not had the best preparation for Adelaide either. Bad weather conditions in the city have hampered the Poms preparations, to the frustration of KP who felt obliged to tweet “What should a groundsman make sure he does 2days out from a test match????....Cover the nets when it rains maybe???....PATHETIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!.” Well I say just save your runs for the middle Kevin and let your bat do the talking.

Looking ahead to five more days of sleep deprivation, I wish our lions down-under the best of luck. Let’s just hope come December the 7^th England’s only annoyance in Australia will be Gillian McKeith. Bring home the bacon fellas!!

Thanks for Reading!

Yabba Gabba Do!!

The first Ashes test of 2010 finishes in a high-scoring draw, but which team can take the most confidence out of the game going into Adelaide on the 3^rd December? If I had been asked that question on day three there is no doubt in my mind that the answer would have been Australia, having watched them secure a 221 run first innings lead. But how quickly this game can change.

It may have been over eighty years since all of England’s top three batsmen made a ton in the same innings, but my god was it worth the wait. Declaring on day five with the score at 517-1, England had absolutely destroyed the old enemy physically and judging by the number of dropped chances mentally as well. Australia did prove that it was still a good wicket in the last session, only losing Simon Katich in their second innings to avoid an embarrassing loss.

I’m sure all viewers will agree that we have seen an Australian demeanour over the last couple of days that has not been visible for many a year. What has happened to the cut-throat, no-holds barred opposition we have come to expect? Watching the likes of Clarke drop little lollypops in the slips and Mitchell Johnson spray it around like a fifteen year-old village cricketer on a Saturday is not what the doctor ordered for Ponting and his men.

Credit where credit is due though. Alistair Cook (235 no), Jonathan Trott (135 no) and Andrew Strauss (110) have shown the mental strength to bat long, proving that England’s current line up contains personnel who are more than capable of going on to get a big score. Just imagine what may have happened if we saw some KP fireworks last night...

Having seen the Australians leave the field a dejected side to a crowd that only appeared to be of English contingent gave me a warm buzz inside. The Barmy Army were on top form yesterday, chanting songs such as “Ali Cook, Ali Cook, Ali Ali Cook” and my personal favourite, “There’s only one Mitchell Johnson”. It was good to see they were enjoying the 25 degree heat we at home seem to be missing out on.

Maybe we Poms are getting too over excited once again as it is still nil-nil in the series. But England undoubtedly came out of the match with their heads held high and with the momentum going into the next test. So it’s “Yabba Gabba Do” as we leave the city of Brisbane, but just imagine what could have happened if we still had our very own Freddie with a Kookaburra cherry in his hand....

Thanks for reading!